How Obsessed I am: Random Harry Potter
by NiceSlytherin
Summary: This is not really a story... last semester I was in a writing elective, and I suddenly realized the majority of the exercises I did turned in to fanwriting somehow. These are my favorites. Enjoy, and keep in mind that we had about five minutes for each.
1. Vanessa Umbridge

In this one, we were given pictures and had to combine them all into a story. This is what I came up with, except it looks much prettier with the font and spacing I had used on the Google Doc.

The Daily Profit

Magical Profile of the Day

By Rita Skeeter

She is haughty. She is ugly. She is rich. She has terrible interior decoration skills. That is what you think when you hear the name Vanessa Umbridge, because of those suggestions in the untrustworthy magazine, "The Quibbler". But is all as it seems? Vanessa is actually a very sweet girl, not unlike her mother, Dolores. She in fact has her own garden. I had the opportunity of a tour by Vanessa herself into this land, expecting to experience a presentation of beautiful flowers and other plants, but I was in for a surprise. Not long after we entered the garden, I very nearly stepped on something and twisted my ankle. "Oh, are you alright?" cried Vanessa. I apologized for my clumsiness, and she, with a smile, noticed the thing I had tripped on. She reached down and picked it up. For a moment I panicked- it was a small creature, yet its resemblence to a Swedish Short-Snout was uncanny. Upon seeing my face, Vanessa explained that it was indeed a dragon-newt mix, yet its temperament was on the newt side. Apparently this specific one was named Jack. I wondered what other animals lay hidden in her forest. Afterwards, during tea in her parlor, we had a lovely, engaging conversation and I realized exacly how lovely she really is, despite her first appearance of another, shall we say, Rubeus Hagrid. This just goes to say how to never judge a book by its cover!


	2. Eight Rules for Wishing

This is something where we had to come up with eight rules for wishing, then write about a wish gone wrong. The rules were created by me and my friends, and the Wish Gone Wrong is inspired by "Snape's Diary" by Potter Puppet Pals. Actually we didn't end up writing eight, but if you ever want to try this prompt yourself (with or without the Snape's Diary concept), do so.

**8 Rules for Wishing**

Your wish must be completely impossible and nonsensical

You must silently stalk your best friend until she surrenders to do everything in her power to obtain your goal. Next continue to siblings, parents, archenemies, and complete strangers.

Write your wish down on a pink piece of parchment with a goosefeather quill, and flush it down the toilet. Keep flushing until your mom yells at you that if you don't stop you will have to pay the water bill with your own allowance.

Stand in the middle of a busy street and when a car comes yell as loud as you can "GOOD MORNING LOVELY STUPID MUGGLE! LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT MY HEARTS DESIRE TO… (say your wish)"

**A Wish Gone Wrong**

I wished to go to the Yule Ball with Lily Evans. Because the toilet was broken, I had to bury the parchment in the wet, dirty ground. On the night before, I finally plucked up the courage to ask her. She through a baby mandrake at me, causing me to pass out for several hours. I interpreted this to mean she wouldn't. I knew why. I cried.

I wished to find my button. I never did. I felt sadness. I cried.

I wished to find a friend. I yelled at a passing car, and before I could get the proper words out the car ran over me. I spent the next year in St. Mungos, where my only aquaintances were the scowling nurse and an old lady with a boot stuck on her head, making her unable to see. I felt envy. I cried.

I wished to become a wealthy store owner in Knockturn Alley. I realized I didn't have any friends to silently stalk. Instead I landed a job to teach worthless, stupid, brats. I cried.

I wished to die. Before I could carry out the proper procedure my boss's pet killed me. Oh why didn't I die correctly? Why? I am crying in the afterlife.


	3. Pantoum

This is a Pantoum, a poem with a specific line order. See if you can spot it. I wrote my pantoum based on post Wizarding War II

So many people die

Like Sirius, Mad Eye, and Lupin

Who are all Harry's mentors

Most of the Order

Like Sirius, Mad Eye, and Lupin

And Tonks died, too

Most of the Order

The original order, is gone

And Tonks died, too

Along with everyone else

The original order is gone

Harry and his friends must start anew

And everyone else

Will help him

Harry and his friends must start anew

Not that it will be easy

His friends will help him

The danger is gone- but also gone is everyone else

Not that it will be easy

To get over it

The danger is gone- but also gone is everyone else

Harry is confused and is not able

To get over it

Even though he isn't alone anymore

This time all who fought for justice

Are Harry's mentors

They are heroes now too

Even if they died


End file.
